Press Freedom

Press Freedom2026-10-08

The Fireside Chat Deluxe™ Decree

His Majesty, King Donald J. Trump I (and Only)

WHEREAS a judge hath dared to ask why the King charges for announcements that Roosevelt gave away for free, revealing that this judge understands neither business, nor fires; WHEREAS the King's Ministry of Truth (formerly known as "the internet") requires a gift shop, and the…

Franklin Roosevelt never charged for his fireside chats. The King's lawyers say that's basically the same thing. A federal judge didn't buy it. Neither should you. #NoKings

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Press Freedom2026-09-09

The Press Is Fake Decree

His Majesty, King Donald J. Trump I (and Only)

WHEREAS the Royal Press Corps hath persisted in reporting things that We actually said, which is the highest form of treason, WHEREAS the phrase "fake news" has served the Crown well but must now be codified into law, NOW, THEREFORE, We do hereby decree: 1.…

They came for the press. Then they came for the voters. Then 8 million people showed up.

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The Fireside Chat Deluxe™ Decree

The Press Is Fake Decree

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