The Healthcare for Nobles Only Decree

WHEREAS the concept of “healthcare for all” is a dangerous and subversive notion that threatens the Crown’s alliance with the Royal Insurance Guilds,

WHEREAS the serfs have grown accustomed to the absurd idea that not going bankrupt from a broken arm is a “right,”

NOW, THEREFORE, We do hereby decree:

1. Healthcare shall hereafter be available only to those of noble blood, or those who can afford the Royal Deductible of $47,000 per illness.

2. The practice of “Medicare for All” is hereby declared treason against the Royal Insurance Guilds.

3. Any serf caught practicing medicine on themselves shall be billed retroactively for the rest of their natural life.

SO IT IS DECREED.