The Immigration Royal Edict

WHEREAS the realm hath been invaded by families seeking “a better life” and “safety from violence”, clearly a coordinated assault on Our sovereignty,

WHEREAS the Royal Border Guard hath not been funded enough to build a moat of alligators (We are still working on this),

NOW, THEREFORE, We do hereby decree:

1. All persons seeking asylum shall be processed through the Royal Waiting Room, which has zero chairs and is located on the moon.

2. The practice of “defunding ICE” is hereby declared heresy against the Crown’s enforcement apparatus.

3. Any serf who suggests that immigrants are human beings shall be required to memorize the entire US tax code as punishment.

SO IT IS DECREED.