The Tax Cut for Kings Decree

WHEREAS the Crown’s treasury hath been depleted by wasteful expenditures such as “public schools,” “clean water,” and “roads that don’t have potholes,”

WHEREAS the noble billionaire class, the true backbone of Our realm, hath suffered greatly under the burden of paying any taxes at all,

NOW, THEREFORE, We do hereby decree:

1. All billionaires shall be exempt from taxation in perpetuity, for they are Our chosen ones and must not be burdened by the trivial concerns of the commons.

2. The difference shall be made up by a new Peasant Levy, assessed on anyone earning less than $400,000 per annum.

3. Any peasant who complains about the levy shall be reminded that the billionaires need their seventh yacht for “job creation purposes.”

SO IT IS DECREED.